Dealing with Arrogance



I ignore if my current state has propitiated the encounter with people who have made me meditate and think about writing this post for several weeks. I thought about cultural issues, my Mexican education and how it might be different from the one you receive in Europe. And after thinking and thinking (and thinking and thinking a bit more), I realised this is not an issue but a logical and unquestionable universal idea: we may encounter with arrogant people everywhere.

Your social, economic or physical condition doesn’t matter; what makes the difference is ignorance. Businessman Jim Rohn once said:

“The worst arrogance is the one product of ignorance”.

An ignorance probably resulting from spending most of their lives far from empathising with strangers, from years of putting their ideas ahead before others, and from never questioning the priviliged social position they’ve enjoyed for so long and why. That is to say, an ignorance that can easily be avoided through a very necessary personal self-analysis. Milan Kundera condemns it:

“People have an obligation to know. People are responsible for their ignorance. Ignorance is guilty”.

I’ve got to say, lately I, myself, have encountered with a considerable amount of them. First with friends of friends who feel comfortable enough to freely ask about my salary in the middle of a dinner after knowing each other for only fifteen minutes (and even worse, without a single glass of wine in our systems); in the workplace with people that, contrary to the first ones, don’t ask a thing nor feel the slightest interest in engaging in the most basic conversation, and from bloggers who after accepting their invitation for a cup of coffee, have decided my years of experience are a trampoline for their own, exclusive success.

I blame no one, I believe that arrogance is often ignored by those who practice it inadvertently, and we have all -including myself- been there.


To smile, turn around and move on with my life used to be enough for these experiences to not disturb my day to day, but doing a hundred and eighty degrees turn isn’t enough anymore when you find yourself frequently facing attitudes that deserve at least two reactions: “are you serious?” followed by an “I’m going to build an imaginary wall around you.” And maybe that’s where our own ignorance and the core of the problem is built: not opening up a discussion that leads to learning and empathising with others, not working on improving our skills to listen and speak without hurting others, and to expect that just by ignoring these attitudes our lifestyle will improve somehow (magically or celestially, because earthly is not possible).

Somehow, because of mental laziness, little interest from us or because we had the longest day of our lives, we give in to the arrogance of third parties and our own. In the end, are you going to see that person again in your life? If the answer is no, then maybe none of this is worth it and the quickest and most elegant solution I can find is to ask for the bill, pay and say a cordial goodbye. The discomfort is unavoidable but your integrity will stay intact, and yes, there are many things in life you are allowed to ignore, but your own integrity is not one of them.

If none of this works, you can always find relief in humor within a cozy atmosphere (i.e with your friends or relatives) as a mechanism to preserve your mental health. It won’t work in the long run, but you’ll have some damn good stories to tell.


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  1. ¡BRAVO! Me dejaste sin palabras y te juro que me voy a acordar de esto en esas horribles situaciones donde como bien mencionas, no sabes como actuar.
    He visto mucho en internet esa frase de “Ignorance is bliss” y me molesta mucho, estoy en contra de ese precepto, porque al saber puede que adquiramos una responsabilidad, pero también nos liberamos. Al igual que tú pensaba que el trasfondo cultural en España y en Europa jugaba un papel importante (que es verdad que el marco cultural es diferente), pero al final del día y como dice mi abuela “hay de todo en la viña del señor” y es una característica que no tiene que ver con la nacionalidad. Y esto de la arrogancia, sobre todo en términos de trabajo (y más ahora con el internet) es una cosa bárbara, que pues, intento lidiar con ella, pero cuesta.
    Me encantó que citaras a Milan Kundera, de hecho leí “La insoportable levedad del ser” por recomendación tuya y ya está entre mis libros favoritos ❤️ Me apunto éste título también 🙂
    PS: Tus fotos siempre son espectaculares, pero nunca está de más decírtelo de nuevo 🙂

    1. Hola Pablo, muchas gracias por leer y comentar 😀
      Lo que dices de “ignorance is a bliss” me recuerda justo a la levedad del ser, para algunos ignorar puede ser una felicidad así como la ligereza lo es para otros, pero yo prefiero la pesadez, y me siento más ligera cuando llevo una resposabilidad encima.
      Tu abuela es muy sabia! Sin embargo, creo que si tenemos en nuestro poder la oportunidad de abrir un poco el horizonte a las personas, es una responsabilidad que vale la pena tomar. Definitivamente la arrogancia es de las cosas más difíciles con las que lidiar en la vida adulta, eso y los impuestos van de la mano jaja.

  2. I can completely relate where you are coming from. I don’t know if people have always been this way or if the lack of real communication on social media turned them into stuck ups, but I feel like I cannot connect with people without encountering this air of arrogance around them. It’s magnified if they have a large social media following. But that is me speaking about people in this sphere. I have had strangers I’ve known for 2 minutes by waiting at the bus station ask me how much I make, and distant relatives as well. I can deal with those. What I can’t deal with is the constant classification I encounter and the constant judging. Can’t we just be nice to each other, like genuinely? And I don’t have to mention by these photos are awesome!

    1. Hi babe! Thanks for commenting on such a heavy topic (well, it’s not that heavy but compared to my outfit/style posts, it’s definitely out of my comfort zone).
      I believe arrogance is always been there: with money, a higher social status (because of their money, the last name they heredited), a better job position or as you say in modern days, because of their social media following.
      I agree with you. Can’t we just be nice to each other? It reminds me to David Bowie’s and Queen’s song “Under Preassure’ (one of the best songs in history, imho):
      “Why can’t we give love?
      ‘Cause love’s such an old fashioned word
      And love dares you to care for
      The people on the edge of the night
      And love dares you to change our way of
      Caring about ourselves”
      It’s easier for us, as human beings and our most basic instints, to care about ourselves.

  3. It’s so weird that you wrote this post earlier today, since I’ve been experiencing this my entire time living here in Germany, but the last couple of days have been particularly rough for me in this sense. Of course, I wholeheartedly agree with every word you wrote.
    What I love the most about this post is not only how well-written it is, but how you’ve basically managed to elegantly slap arrogance with a white glove. I love the sarcastic undertones and dark humor combined with heaps of sophistication, which made me feel as if I were reading something from Oscar Wilde. You have a great writing style and personality, plus you can artfully and elegantly express your thoughts. Well done and I applaud that you are speaking your mind on a topic that many people (myself included) can relate to. x

    1. Hi Laura, it was a weird coincidence, I agree! Thank you so much for reading and especially, for commenting! 🙂 I was a bit afraid of speaking my heart out in such a topic, but if you guys like these kind of posts, maybe I could write like this more often 🙂

    1. Hola Lorena, gracias por comentar 🙂
      Como dices, lo que no queremos ser pero que muy seguramente en algún momento fuimos! Todo en la vida es un privilegio, incluso la educación de la que no todo mundo goza.

  4. I first discovered your blog years and years ago, and in this modern age of Instagram, it’s one of the only few ones I still read because you keep it so real! Thank you for having such a unique writing style and writing out your thoughts (even when it’s not related to fashion or travel). And yes, I do agree with everything you said – at this point in in time where we constantly have access to the internet and libraries and other people, blaming ignorance is a very poor excuse for a lot of things (especially rudeness).
    Unrelated note, but also, I really admire how you never stopped writing in Spanish and English! I’ve done bilingual cooking projects before and I understand how much time and thought goes behind making sure you’re expressing yourself clearly in each language (as a Mexican-American, writing in Spanish takes a lot longer in my case). It’s not an easy task, but you do it so well! It always makes me happy to see both my languages on this blog 🙂
    P.S. I would love if you did a blog post or even Insta post about your favorite books! You seem to read a lot, and I trust your recommendations since you’ve read so much Milan Kundera (I’ve read three of his books now) 🙂
    Anyway, hope you have a lovely day and keep doing what you’re doing!

    1. Hi Marlyn, thank you for commenting and for still reading Fake Leather <3 I truly appreciate it.
      To be honest, writing in both Spanish and English is the hardest part of blogging haha. Sometimes it takes me an extra day because I want the English to be as perfect as possible (within my limitations, as it's not my first language) and I've been to the point of thinking I shouldn't be writing in two languages anymore. But your comments are always 50 Spanish/50 English and I just cannot justify leaving half of you forgotten 🙂
      I haven't read as much as I'd like to, but once I finish the books on my shelf I'll definitely post my favorites 😀 (but yeah, Kundera is one of my favorites).
      Thank you and have a nice day babe xx

  5. Me encanta que seas tan sincera y transparente al escribir sobre estos temas incómodos. Entiendo a la perfección lo que expresas, y desgraciadamente cada vez es más frecuente encontrar gente así (no se podría haber escrito mejor) : que es incapaz de empatizar con los demás y habla sólo desde sus privilegios.
    En fin, no queda más que armarse de paciencia y defender nuestra integridad y salud mental.
    Por otro lado, me sorprende con cuánta naturalidad tu claridad mental se refleja en tu estilo; no me gusta usar la palabra “clase” por sentirla un tanto discriminatoria, pero en ti se nota, por dentro y fuera.

    1. Muchas gracias, Alina! Nunca lo había pensado así pero supongo que algo de relación hay entre lo que uno viste y piensa. Me inspira para escribir otro post de este estilo 😉 aunque espero que no me tome tanto tiempo, este lo estuve planeando por un mes porque no quería ofender a nadie ni pasarme con tanta sinceridad, si me explico.
      Besos! xx

  6. Gracias, gracias, gracias por compartir esta experiencia. Creí que solo yo me sentía así o que era una cuestión del país donde me encuentro. (El tema de los compañeros de trabajo me mata, me hace sentir tan mínima)
    Últimamente yo he caído mucho en dejar pasar la ignorancia o la arrogancia, suelo ser muy visceral y la gente no acepta que las personas reaccionan de distintas formas o incluso tengan un tono de voz distinto, así que, por por salud mental y estrés he decidido elegir mejor las batallas.
    La era de la información y comunicación en la palma de la mano nos ha facilitado mucho la vida, pero también nos ha ido poniendo muchos retos y confrontaciones, la arrogancia esta al orden del día en cada app que uno visita, yo sigo aprendiendo a lidiar con ella, tanto con la que recibo como con la que se me escapa algunas veces. De nuevo te agradezco por compartir tu visión e invitación a pensar sobre el tema.
    Saludos desde Chile! BTW Happy Bday!

    1. Hola Luisa, yo antes también pensaba que era cuestión de mi círculo social o del país al que me vine a meter, pero no, gente así hay en todos lados. Si bien en muchas ocasiones he recurrido a ignorarlas, creo que llega un momento en el que tenemos que tomar un poco de responsabilidad y cuestionarnos si de verdad está bien que las ignoremos.
      Me da gusto que el post te haya servido para pensar 🙂 xx

  7. Ahhh as always, Adriana, spot-on and so eloquently put. I am utterly horrified by the person who asked you about your salary. Generally, I think it’s rude to ask anyone who you’re not at all close to – regardless of whether you’ve known them for less than 15 minutes or a lot more – how much they make.
    I love that quote by Jim Rohn, I’m going to try to remember that one! I never really thought about it, but of course it makes sense that arrogance and ignorance are mutually exclusive. I’m sorry that you had to have unpleasant encounters with these arrogant/ignorant people, but the fact that you know the best ways to handle these situations with dignity and class says so much about yourself.
    I find that empathy and putting yourself in someone else’s shoes gives a whole other perspective on life, and could make you realise how tiny of a being you are in this world, and ignorance simply should not belong. Sadly the size of the world is apparently relative, and these people live in such a small world of their own! When your mind expands, so does your world.
    I love how you arrange your words: “not opening up a discussion that leads to learning and empathising with others, not working on improving our skills to listen and speak without hurting others, and to expect that just by ignoring these attitudes our lifestyle will improve somehow (magically or celestially, because earthly is not possible).” Beautiful! <3
    xo, Liyana | Affordorable

    1. I was also utterly horrified by that person haha, luckily no one was recording my reaction because it would have turned into a viral meme haha. I agree with you about the world’s size, yet sometimes people who have travelled once or twice in their life act as if they have seen it all when there’s so much (SO MUCH) to learn in life. Humility is never bad in a person’s personality.
      Thank you for commenting, babe! <3

  8. Es genial leer tus palabras, Adriana!! Me han pasado muchas situaciones del tipo que tú dices, e igual que tú me he preguntado “¿esto está pasando, es real?”. Lo cierto es que me estoy encontrando a personas más interesantes en el mundo virtual que en la vida real. Gente con la que me encantaría tomarme ese café del que hablas, y espero que sin llevarme ninguna decepción.
    Siempre he oído que los creadores tenemos algo de arrogancia, que viene con el propio concepto de crear. Que para sacar algo de la nada y seguir adelante has de ser algo arrogante, creo que me explico. Pero como yo digo siempre, si eres arrogante por lo menos que no se te note jajaja. Es decir, de nada sirve ponerse por encima de los demás. Y me pasa como a ti, que cuando veo ciertas actitudes directamente no entro en el juego. ¿Para qué? Esas personas no las volveremos a ver, o les dará igual lo que les digamos porque nadie les ha enseñado a escuchar.
    De nuevo gracias por compartir tus pensamientos, resulta refrescante leer un poco de realidad de vez en cuando.
    Un abrazo enorme!!

    1. Hola guapa! Es como lo comentaba justo aquí abajo: la humildad nunca es una mala característica en la personalidad de una persona. Uno puede ser egocéntrico en su trabajo (sobre todo como artistas que buscan crear algo de su propio ser), pero fuera de ello tu ego enorme no tiene razón de ser ni de utilidad para el mundo 🙂
      Besos y gracias por comentar <3

  9. !Hola Adriana! Tu blog es un descubrimento bueno para mi. Me gustan muchos la moda, tus photos y tus palabras sabias. Y estoy de acuerdo que la mejor manera de encagarse de estas situaciones es de alejarse. Hay desmadiadas otras personas y cosas buenas que hacernos felices en en nuestras vidas.

  10. Me encanta tu estilo y disfruto tus posts. Leerte, especialmente en este post, me hizo analizar diversas situaciones que han acontecido en mi vida relacionadas con la arrogancia, ya no es suficiente con ignorar, es necesario enfrentar la situación, sobretodo por la tranquilidad de uno mismo, porque guardarse las palabras no es bueno, aprender a decir lo que se siente con respeto al otro es necesario en estos tiempos, es necesario para mí. Saludos Adriana!!!